Dizzy shaded glasses?

Lots of people see the world through "rose colored glasses."  Those of of us with Dysautonomia see it more through "dizzy shaded glasses?"  I guess this is the best way that I can describe it.  Here's another little window into my world.  Mornings are usually the hardest on us.  When I wake up in the morning, I never feel well rested.  Those days of being like a child and feeling refreshed and ready to attack my day are long gone.  I feel like I start at the bottom of a hole and have to figure out how I'm gonna get out today.  Some days, I feel like God is my cheerleader sitting there cheering me on telling me you can do it!  Others...I feel like why bother?  The end result is always the same?  Why keep trying?  Because I have faith in my God that's why!  He's gonna find a way to make this better.  Maybe not even better in this lifetime but when I'm finally called home to be with him. 

As I was saying though, I wake up and once I finally muster the energy to sit up (this may take several trys) my feet hit the ground.  I dread this moment every morning.  The pain that shoots from my feet up into my legs, the second I put any pressure on them, is unbearable.  Through all of this I've been holding my bladder so long that I need to make an A line for the bathroom.  The only problem is...I am now in pain since the nerves in my feet are going crazy and now all the blood from my head has proceeded to rush to my feet (doesn't this sound like fun?) so now I'm so dizzy I can barely see the bathroom that is only about five feet away.  I stumble holding onto the bed and anything else as my vision goes in and out.  I try to defeat my never ending enemy...gravity.  If I make it to the bathroom without falling I have won the game!  Whoo Hoo Play again tomorrow.  It never ends!  Kind of like that movie with Bill Murray, Ground Hog Day. 

That's okay though.  I'm gonna keep on keepin on as my good friend Lyla tells me. 

I've had a lot of obstacles thrown my way over the last couple of weeks whether it be family or sickness or big plans that God has for me.  I'm excited, but its been hard too.  However, to be very cliche, when ever God closes one door he opens an other.  God has began to place some amazing women in my life and I couldn't be more excited about it!  I was even was talking to some random person on the phone today (can't tell you who because it will give you a hint as to upcoming posts) but turns out the guy knew what POTS was!  I thought I was going to do a back flip!  He was premed but that is besides the point...he knew...and that was enough for me.  One more thing and then I will close for today.  I also got an e-mail from someone from Australia who has POTS!  POTS has gone worldwide people!  We're gonna get the word out there and we're gonna stand up for those of us that sometimes can't!  Love you all!